July 20, 2023
So this section will take some time to put together. I don’t really know what to put here. So I’ll just start typing and edit later.
The obvious starting point should be my transition. I think that’s a boring topic though. We all have our individual paths with some that are parallel for a time, then they take off in their own direction.
In my beginning days, I read other’s stories and tried to apply them to my path, thinking “hey, I’d like some of what she has.”. But once I was down my own road, I realized that I had to forge my own way.
Of course I learned a lot from other’s and made it mine somehow. There is value it that, but i needed to understand where their path was parallel and mine needed to diverge.
April 17, 2024
I remember as far back as when I was 4 or 5, having "feelings" for the girls in my neighborhood. Obviously, it wasn't sexual, I just preferred to hang around with girls rather than boys. I had no clue why, I probably thought it was normal but I had no idea what normal meant... it was just what I knew.
This behavior lasted all through grade school. But when I started High School, even I could not fight the power of hormones, in this case testosterone. I became infatuated with women but this was more sexual than when I was younger.
One Halloween when I was 13 or 14, a friend of mine came to my house so we could go get candy... he was dressed as a woman and he looked exactly like his mom. I wanted so badly to dress like he was but couldn't bring myself to admit it to my mom.. My mom even asked me if I wanted to dress like my friend.... What a lost opportunity 😂..
April 22, 2024
I made it though High School and College without any issues. I had a couple of girlfriends and we had fun but it was not meant to be long term.
There was still this feminine mystique that grabbed me hard. I tried to push it away many times. No matter how shameful I felt, I aways came back to the desire to be a woman.
But I had no clue how to proceed. I had little money and NO idea what was possible with medical help. This was pre internet so information was not available at this time.
I wasn‘t sure what I was at this point, Was I a cross dresser, gay, fetish freak, or just a freak? Being transgender wasn’t something I even considered. The only thing I heard of was something called a She Male and other more derogatory terms.
I started looking online to educate myself.
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